For the love of all that is holy, get off 'Speed Racer''s back. Please and thank you.

I have been wanting to start writing again for oh, about the amount of time that it's been since my last blog post. And the unfounded criticisms that have made 'Speed Racer' a "eh, maybe when it comes out on DVD" movie to the general public have gotten me riled up so much that I had to post about it.

(Richie, this is not in response to the conversation that we had. Promise. I just should not read rotten tomatoes).

I saw the movie twice and was completely absorbed both times. The movie is funny, sweet and exciting. The visual effects are as good as in any movie, ever. Just different (and INNOVATIVE). And it's the best cinematography and film editing I've ever seen.

I went to Rotten Tomatoes to find out exactly what 'the experts' had complained about. Here are my responses to the first ones I found:

Diabetics need to be wary of Andy and Larry Wachowski's adaptation of the cult anime series Speed Racer. The big-screen version contains so much eye candy, you're liable to slip into a coma.
I'm sorry, is the complaint here that the visual effects were too colorful? They were very much so, but ... what did he expect?


This is not family time, it's boredom time. Whizz, whizz, whizz, yet another car zooms past and it's less exciting than building one from Meccano. Speed Racer is a snore.
Um... no. Did we not pick up on the race-fixing plotline? Speed's fight to keep racing a sport and not a business? His journey of self-discovery?

The ultimate problem is that this is a film based on a lousy cartoon from the '60s that can only be properly called a "classic" through the muddied lens of Boomer nostalgia.
Wow. Someone has a heart of stone.

At 134 minutes, Speed Racer throws so much color on the screen for so long, younger viewers (and even some not-so-young ones) will get worn out and want this ride to stop.
Wow, better make sure your kids don't see Willy Wonka, either. They might not like all the fun!

Provides all the hallucinogenic benefits of an LSD trip without any of the nasty side-effects
Still confused as to why sweet-ass special effects have to be in earth tones to be appreciated. This just isn't a valid complaint.


There's no thrill of victory and no agony of defeat here -- just more cars flying through the air...and cartwheeling before bursting into flames.
Again. Did we miss the plot?

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Seriously. What kind of complaints are these? "The special effects are too much?" What the hell did you expect from a futuristic movie about racing cars in exotic locations on impossible tracks? 'Speed Racer' made no secret about that.

The movie more than captured the spirit of the hilarious '60s cartoon. It took it to a whole new level. I think if the creators could have made it this way the first time around, they wouldn't have thought twice about it.

So, go see the movie. And remember, it's supposed to be fun.